you all know how much i love my dog. he's my best buddy, and the one creature who has gotten me through all the hard things these last 9 years.
my favorite little guy
last week he started acting funny. didn't want to eat, seemed overly tired, all that jazz. he was also moaning a little more than usual. we took him to the vet, and she said it was time to think about how much we wanted to keep doing for him. he was in pain, and tired.
here he is about a week before he got sick
he had just woken up from a nap.
it was hard to hear, but we took him home and started him on some painkillers. and at first it seemed like they were going to work. he rallied pretty hard on tuesday, wednesday, and thursday. we even called the vet to let her know and she refilled his painkillers, and his insulin, and gave us some antibiotics for his uti.
this was a while ago, but i just love that face.
then on friday, he had a seizure in the morning. it was so scary. he just fell over and started kicking his little legs and couldn't hear me. i stayed home with him all day. friends came over to sit with me because i was too sad. and i didn't want it to be time.
this is how i still think of him
by saturday it was clear. he was tired. he was done. so we took the hard drive to the vet. he didn't even lift his head to the wind on the drive down. it was heartbreaking. i know that this is what he was asking me to do, but even at the end, i couldn't leave him. we probably sat there for 20 minutes just holding him after he was gone.
he was always happiest in the car, with the music up and the windows down.
i know that i will always hold my bear in my heart. he was the very best dog that i could have ever dreamed of. he loved his people so much; i'm pretty sure he thought he was one of us. i love him always. i miss his little face, and the sound of his nails on the hardwood, and the way he would stand at my feet and look up when i had food. he could tell from two rooms away when i was cutting a green pepper, and if pizza came to the door he knew he was getting some crust.
this is how all meals were eaten at our house
the thing i will miss the most is his company. my happiest moments were lazy sunday mornings when the three of us would lie in bed and snuggle until we just had to get up and eat something. we were a family. he will always be our first family. the amount of love he gave was incredible. it's hard to understand how he fit all that love in there. he was such a good, good dog. my heart has a reggie-sized hole in it. and that's really very big actually.
goodnight my darling bear. i will love you always.